From Diddy To Joker 2: Nikki Glaser's Best Jokes From 82nd Golden Globes

Nikki Glaser made history as the first female solo to host the 82nd Golden Globes (or what she calls 'Ozempic's Biggest Night') on January 6. From clever quips to controversial takes, her opening monologue set the tone for an unforgettable evening. From the Diddy controversy to Zendaya's awe-inspiring role in Dune, the comedienne-actress left no stone unturned. Here are some of the best dialogues from her momentous monologue that night.

She started with an unassuming introduction, "I'm Nikki Glaser and I'm absolutely thrilled to be your host tonight," followed by a roar of applause. Then came a witty, eyebrow-raising gag-- "I feel like I've finally made it - I'm in a room full of producers at the Beverley Hilton hotel, and this time, all of my clothes are on, so it was worth it."

Then came a barrage of witty jokes that were sometimes tongue-in-cheek and sometimes made you think. Really think.

"I'm not here to roast you tonight, how could I? You're all so famous, so talented, so powerful. You could really do anything except tell the country who to vote for. But it's okay. You'll get 'em next time; If there is one."

"Tonight we celebrate the best of film and hold space for television."

"Wicked, Queer, Nightbitch. These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms, these are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight. The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer. These are not just things found in RFK's freezer, these are TV shows nominated tonight."

"Tonight I look out and see some of the hardest working actors in showbusiness; and by that, I mean your servers. They'll be bringing you your cocktails to drink and your food that you'll look at."

"Zendaya is here... [Challengers] was more sexually charged than Diddy's credit card." Followed by, "Oh no, I'm upset too. The after-party isn't gonna be as good this year but we have to move on. I know a Stanley Tucci 'Freak Off' just doesn't have the same ring to it. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil."

"We can't talk about movies tonight without talking about Wicked. I did not know much about Wicked going into this year because I had friends in high school but I loved it. I loved Wicked, my boyfriend loved Wicked, my boyfriend's boyfriend really loved Wicked."

"Selena Gomez is here, double nominee tonight, and she's here with her new fiancé Benny Blanco, and Benny Blanco is here because of the genie who granted him that wish. Man, lucky guy!"

"Emilia Pérez earned 10 nominations for Netflix and I loved it. It is without a doubt the most audacious, groundbreaking film to ever auto-play after Is It Cake?"

"I really think this is going to be a very memorable evening, and maybe not even in the way that you think. I predict, five years from now, when you're watching old clips of this show on YouTube, you'll see someone in the crowd and go 'Oh my god, that was before they caught that guy.' We could be making history tonight and we don't even know with who. He knows. Or she--it could be a woman-- I think 100% of the time it's a man but it could be a woman. It won't be. It never is. Kinda like Best Director."

"Before we start handing out awards, I wanna remind you, if you lose tonight, please just keep in mind that the point of making art is not to win an award, the point of winning an award is to start a tequila brand so popular that you never have to make art again."

Who Is Nikki Glaser?

Nikki Glaser succeeds the likes of Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Nikki is best known for her stand-up specials – Perfect (2016), Bangin' (2019), and Roast of Tom Brady (2024), the last two of which are streaming on Netflix.  

Nikki began her career as a stand-up comedian at the age of 18. She recalled in an interview, “I just knew the stand-ups I knew. I wrote from the perspective of my favorite stand-ups because I didn't know what my perspective was yet.”  

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nikki Glaser (@nikkiglaser)

Emmy nominated

She has 1.7 million Instagram followers which makes her the 22nd most-followed female comedian in 2022. In addition to her comedy career, she's an actress, having appeared in films such as Gregory Viens' Punching The Clown (2009), Judd Apatow's Trainwreck (2015), Gregory Viens' Punching Henry (2016), and Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein's I Feel Pretty (2018). She has also starred in TV shows like Inside Amy Schumer, Not Safe with Nikki Glaser, and season 27 of Dancing with the Stars.

Nikki was nominated for her stand-up specials at last year's Emmy Awards, and she's up for nominations at both the upcoming Golden Globes and Grammy Awards.

When Nikki roasted Taylor Swift

Nikki made headlines back in 2020 when her comments on popstar, Taylor Swift from a past TV panel made it to the trailer of Lana Wilson's 2020 documentary Miss Americana. “She’s too skinny; it bothers me,” Nikki had said, much to the ire of some Swifties, who even sent her death threats. She later apologised for it and said she no longer relate to anything she said that day. Suprisingly, she now claims herself to be a Swiftie.

Personal Struggles

She has talked about struggles with self-medicating, eating disorders, and alcoholism. "I drank every single night of my life and it was, like, the only thing I looked forward to in my life," she said. "For me, drinking was the worst of all of them. And it's been kind of whack-a-mole with all of those. But those have never caused me as much pain as drinking did. So, I'm glad that drinking is just not an option."

Where to watch Golden Globes?

The Golden Globe Awards 2025 will stream in India exclusively on Lionsgate Play at 6:30 am on Monday, January 6.